Where does the time go....

Seven & a half months have passed since the day I had a gastrectomy. I can still recall that morning with such clarity.... I was so upset.

And now even I am amazed at my recovery. All of a sudden, about 1 month ago, the vomiting (or regurgitation as I have referred to it previously) just stopped. I couldn't believe it at first....and didn't tell anyone until at least a week had passed. (I was very excited). Now, it is only on the odd occasion that during those first few mouthfuls of a meal, I may feel something similar to a lump in my throat, but rather, a lump down lower, perhaps where the join between my oesophagus and intestines sits, and then a light 'hot flush' feeling overcomes me. I just stop, put my fork down and take some slow, deep breaths and wait 30 seconds or so until it passes, and I'm good to go!

I've even started drinking coffee again and I'll have one most mornings. My family all went to dinner Sunday night for mum's 60th at a lovely Thai restaurant....I ate so much food! And with no consequences! I even ate white rice with my Chicken Panang Curry. (I did come home and just sit for about a half hour or so as I felt rather full). This full feeling is different to the full feeling I had felt prior to the surgery. It actually feels like I filled up my intestines with so much food, that it was 'brimming over the top', up into the chest area and I had to just wait until I passed some gas and the food that was 'brimming over the top' had a chance to slide down a little further. (Sorry about the detail.....).

Something else I realised whilst reflecting recently is that I haven't had hiccups since the surgery! Bazaar..... And I still don't have an appetite. I never feel hungry or have any 'hunger pains' or tummy rumblings. I do feel something that I can only describe as a 'bubbling' in my oesophagus that occurs now and then, and this triggers me to stop and think about when it was that I actually ate last. Usually, it had been a few hours and can be fixed with a snack or a meal.

If I have eaten too much at any one sitting, for example a heavy pasta dish of the same serving size pre surgery, I will sometimes get the shakes and feel light headed, about an hour later. I think this may have something to do with my blood sugar levels increasing rapidly? I settle it down quickly by having something to eat. (Yes, more food...weird, I know!)

I had a blood test at 6 months and waited ages for the results to come in. Finally, a week later, I called the surgery and found out that they had no need to call me as my results were all normal! That was a surprise. I am taking a sublingual B12 and Iron tablet each day and have had three B12 injections in 7 months. Last week I got to a point where I just couldn't focus on anything, everything became very vague and I was becoming flaky. I had to check how long it had been since my last B12 shot, it was 9 weeks. I might make a note in my diary for about the 8 week mark....the B12 boost certainly makes me feel more energised.

My weight is still exactly the same, 60.2 kilos. That surprises me too. I have stopped obsessing and only weigh myself once a week now. I am happy with my body shape & size and it would be great if I can maintain it, as it is.

Something I don't think I have mentioned previously is that between months 3 - 6 post surgery, I was shedding a larger than usual amount of hair. My hair is collar length, fine and naturally wavy and there is a lot of it. Or should I say, was a lot of it. At first, I just thought it was the usual summer moulting, but I was losing handfuls of hair each time I combed it of a morning, more on the days I washed it. Even my hairdresser noticed the difference in the volume of hair, but she was quick to point out all the new growth occurring. The hair loss has settled down now and I will just have to deal with lots of little fly aways as this new growth comes in. I think hair loss has something to do with the trauma the body has been through and perhaps a lack of protein.

To wrap it up, I am remarkably well! We (my husband, 2 kids & I) even went camping a couple of weekends ago with the car club for 2 nights. Food was not an issue and I even had a beer! And for the first time ever, I drag raced my husbands 1972 Valiant Charger....now that was an adrenalin rush.....

P.S. Thank you Karen & Cindy, I really appreciate and value your feedback and comments.x

6 Months Post-Op

It has been 6 months today since I had my stomach removed. Wow! I ate a whole iced doughnut today whilst walking around the local shopping centre with my children. Three months ago, I would have gagged on the tiniest nibble of this very naughty treat. Sometimes I just cannot believe what I am able to eat! Big beautiful ham & salad crusty bread rolls, fat homemade hamburgers, spaghetti & meatballs and my best Pizza eating effort so far has been 4 slices of Pizza Huts Super Supreme Pan Pizza.

I still have some drama from time to time. That feeling of food 'getting stuck' as it is on its way down still occurs. I little bit of regurgitation later and I feel back on track and able to finish my food. I have decided that the best way to beat this is to remain calm, relaxed and stress free whenever I approach food. Every time I am in a relaxed state, food is my friend. The moment I let a little stress or tension take over my body, the drama begins. (Even the tiniest amount of stress can cause problems). And I love eating out! No stress there....no need to decide what to cook, when to cook it, prepare the food, present it, do dishes or clean up.....!

I have dropped another kilo since my last post and have now maintained 60 kilos (132 pounds) for about 6 weeks. My perfect weight! Smack bang in the middle of my recommended BMI range, and also my goal weight. I am a little obsessed with weighing myself each morning and I record my weight in my diary every Tuesday.

I have been managing to get to the gym about twice a week, where I really enjoy the Pump (weight training) and Combat (martial arts style workout) Classes. I endeavour to become a little more disciplined in attending at least 2 regular classes per week.

Still staying up way too late at night. This will need to change dramatically within the next couple of weeks as my son Cooper starts school at the end of the month and I will need to up bright & early and out the door each day at 8.30am! The trouble with staying up so late is that by mid afternoon, I am in desperate need of a nap, barely able to keep my eyes open, even more so by the third or fourth day. And then as soon as I have a nap, I am not able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour, and thus the cycle continues.

Still not able to drink water with ease. I have discovered that a can of Coke goes down really well; not a good habit I intend on keeping. (I never drank Coke prior to the surgery). I am also drinking the kids Popper Juice at the moment (no more than 1 a day) as it seems to quench my thirst (250ml Pine Orange Juice in a box). Have had 3 cups of coffee in 6 months (BIG deal for a 2 cup a day lady....) and have completely gone off tea. I can't really remember the last time I drank any sustagen or gatorade....have just been getting on with living!

Work wise, I have stepped down as a manager, which relieves a lot of pressure, however I am continuing to be a very active Tupperware Demonstrator. My goal is to average 2 parties per week so that I can pay for my childrens private schooling. This is a very achievable goal and a comfortable one too that I feel I will be able to manage physically.

I made a doctors appointment for Monday; just thought that I might get a blood test to see where my B12 and Iron levels are at now that I have reached this little 6 month 'mile stone'.

I think I have covered everything! Had a wonderful Christmas & New Years break with a lovely holiday to Noosa on the Sunshine Coast with my family. And its also where I decided that my goal for 2010 if to remain relaxed and stress free. (Mainly for my own healths sake, but also for my family). I am now really looking forward to my journey through the 'next 6 months'.

Happy New Year!

The Results are In

The results from my first blood test post gastrectomy came in showing that my Iron levels are very low at 5, with the normal range being 10-33. And my B12 level is on the decrease as well, 365 with the normal range being 160-800. My GP recommended I begin an iron supplement immediately and a B12 injection asap.

Within a week of beginning the iron supplementation and after my very first B12 injection, I began to feel much more energectic. I am no longer getting sleepy in the afternoon. It seems as though I can do so much more now!

My appointment with my surgeon has been post poned until the 17th November. I am still experiencing difficulty eating a meal, with it not going down and staying there....however the frequency of dramas occuring seems to be less. I was regurgitating about once per day and then it became once every 2nd day and now it is even less than that.

I have been eating less, sometimes it is so much easier to just not eat to avoid any drama. And sometimes I just try to snack lots, all day. Last night I felt like having a beef stir fry with lots of fresh vegetables and a little bit of rice. Well, I may have really wanted it, but my body just didn't want to take it in. I kept trying and trying, and finally after some really gut wrenching vomiting, I managed to eat a very small portion. Later, I heated up 5 frozen cocktail springs rolls and ate them just fine, with a little sweet chilli sauce.

I just bought some A2 Milk, a full cream milk that is supposededly easier to digest. I tried it last night as I finished the night off with a sustagen milk shake, and it seemed to settle better in my tummy than my regular light milk. Will keep this up.

I am still losing weight, now weighing 61 kilos (134 lbs). (Have lost a total of 15.6 kilos or 34 lbs). People are now really noticing how different I am looking. I look good!

Joined a gym. Can't wait to start doing some Pilates classes and using the weights machines to build up my muscles and strength. I really need to do some toning! And of course, exercise always makes you feel so much better. Will stay away from cardio for the moment. I will see how my weight is going after Christmas.

My brother's wedding was just beautiful. A gorgeous day and the entire bridal party looked so glamourous! I am pleased that I managed so well to last all day and right through until 1am. The food was lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed eating ALL of my creamy ravioli. That was the entree, but served me fine as a main.

Another busy weekend ahead as we celebrate Cooper's 5th birthday with a party with 14 of his friends! Aaaah, what have I got myself into!!!!

'Has it only been 12 weeks?'

It has been almost 3 weeks since I re-visited the hospital and spoke to a surgeon regarding the eating dramas I have been experiencing. The appointment went well and the outcome was pretty much to take it easy, slow down and give myself some time. (It had only been 10 weeks since my op). We discussed the possibility of there being a stricture at the join site and the surgeon agreed that it could be likely however they are reluctant to do anything about it so early post surgery. I have another appointment to see Dr Nathanson (the head surgeon) on the 20th October to see if there have been any changes or developments.

Basically what has been happening is that at least once a day, during either lunch or dinner (mainly), the food that I am eating will get 'stuck' or won't 'go down'. I begin my meal and shortly after eating just 2 or 3 mouthfuls, I feel an incredible urge to bring up that little amount of food. Sometimes just those couple of mouthfuls are expelled, sometimes it is clear, frothy, sticky saliva. Sometimes I am reduced to an incredible vomiting episode involving tears streaming from my eyes and mucous dribbling from my nose. Most times I am able to resume, and finish my meal, sometimes I cannot.

I have really been paying more attention to my eating since my appointment recently and I am trying to really make sure that I am snacking all the time. This helps. I also just discovered that if I snack on something like some crackers whilst preparing, and just before dinner, I seem to be able to eat my entire meal without any dramas. Almost like having an entree I guess.

Last weekend was my future sister-in-laws' Hens Weekend Away. We started with lunch where I ordered a Caesar Salad with Avocado and Salmon. I ate a couple of mouthfuls and then it all came back up. (In the bathroom of course). I tried again to eat a couple more tiny mouthfuls and again, it came back up. Determined to 'eat something', I tried again, and again, it all came back up. Not good.

Looking back now, I realise that it had been a good 4 hours since I had eaten anything prior to attempting the salad, and perhaps I will just be one of those people that will need to snack ALL THE TIME.

Later that afternoon I snacked for hours on crackers, dips and cheeses and then ate a small meal of Gnocchi (drenched in pesto and oil) with not a single drama. I also enjoyed a couple of sips of wine, a Smirnoff Ice (vodka and lemon drink) and a small 'fruit tingle' cocktail over about a 5 hour period. I was very impressed with this effort as it had been the first time since my surgery that I had drank any alcohol. We danced the night away until 4am! 

I visited my GP on Friday to have a blood test to check my B12 and iron levels and will have those results back Monday. I am finding that I am 'crashing' about every 3rd day or so, needing a sleep in the afternoon. (It doesn't help that I am still not getting to bed very early of an evening either). I may have to start B12 injections soon, something I would much rather avoid. I have been taking a sublingual B12 (1mg) tablet each day but it is apparantley debatable as to how much B12 I would actually be absorbing via this method. (It just dissolves under your tongue). I guess I will find out Monday!

My weight seems to have stabilised for now. I am 64 kilos (141 pounds) which is the weight I would sit at in the past when not dieting. I am scared of losing more weight now. Really scared. In my mind, I have this figure of 60 kilos as being my 'goal' and I guess I am now focussing on eating more frequently so that the weight stays on. Mum is taller than I and weighs a tiny 50 kilos (110 pounds), 3 years post gastrectomy. She keeps telling me that I will lose more weight, that it is still early days yet.... and that is scaring me. Time to step it up Tammy, and be more positive than I have been before!

Annoyed.

It has been almost 2 months now since I had my stomach removed. Wow! I can sum up my feelings at the moment with one word...annoyed. I am annoyed that I am not able to eat 'normally'. I am annoyed that I cannot skull a big glass of water. I am annoyed that one day I will manage some foods just fine, and the next, not be able to tolerate them. I am annoyed that I can feel nauseous for a whole day. And I am annoyed that I look so great, and feel so physically great but cannot hold down those first few mouthfuls of food at a meal time.

Part of me knows that this is a phase. But gee its annoying!!!!

Even more annoying is the fact that for the first 6 weeks post surgery, I seemed to eat anything and everything that I tried with good results. It stayed down. But now, I take one or two mouthfuls and I am overcome with nausea as the food feels as though it 'gets stuck going down' and I need to bring it back up again. This feeling can last from anywhere from a few minutes to 45 minutes at its worst.

I have made an appointment to see the surgeon in another week or so. I feel that he will probably say that this is all part of my body readjusting to its new plumbing. A part of me needs some reassurance that everything is ok.

I am still discovering new foods and drinks that I seem to be able to tolerate well...the latest being banana smoothies...yummy! When I have a day where my food intake has been barely anything at all, I make sure that the next day, I resort to more soft foods like poached eggs on toast and homemade pumpkin soup. Maybe I am expecting too much of myself, too soon.

I have lost just over 10 kilos (22.7 pounds) and am sitting on the high end of my BMI Scale. I can 'afford' to lose another 6 kilos (13 pounds) before I will start to look 'too thin' or gaunt. The good side is that I am now fitting back into my regular wardrobe (gained 12 kilos prior to the surgery) and I am feeling more comfortable weight wise.

Weight loss doesn't worry me at the moment, I would just like to feel great on the inside.

I must say that it was at about the 6 week mark, I remember waking one morning thinking to myself, "ooh, I don't have any belly pain". It was as though my body had recovered physically from the stitching and incisions. This is a good thing. I am still careful though, not to pick up the kids for too long, and especially not to carry them around.

It took me almost a whole afternoon to make 3 beds and vacuum the house! I took my time but still felt a little strained on the inside near to the larger of my incisions. I was too tired to mop the floors after that effort so that will have to wait for another day.

My new version of washing the car is just hosing it off. Oh, and don't eat at your Tupperware Parties Tammy; I ate a small piece of a chocolate muffin that I had demonstrated at a party the other day and I had a terrible wave of nausea come over me... I walked away from the guests promptly and busied myself with my packing. They were none the wiser....and I am so glad that nothing else eventuated from that 'taste test'.

I might go and make some popcorn soon, that will be a nice late night snack....

'Diet for life'.

The novelty is wearing off now. In the first couple of weeks since my gastrectomy, eating and drinking was all new, and wondering each day 'what will I try today?' was almost fun. Its not fun anymore. For the past 15 years I have been on countless diets, gaining and losing around 6 - 10 kilos each effort. Since my gastrectomy, I feel as though I have been on another diet, only now, it has hit me that this 'diet' is FOR LIFE. I am sad that eating and drinking will never be the same again. Because I feel so great (and normal!?!), I sometimes attack my food with the same gusto that I used to, until I forget to chew enough and it gets 'stuck' going down and a wave a nausea and pain overcomes me. Last night whilst eating my lovely homemade lasagna, I made the same mistake and after the first mouthful, found myself vomitting over the kitchen sink. This in itself was an usual experience (only that mouthful came up) as it was the first and only time that I had vomitted since leaving hospital. (Whilst in hospital I vomitted saliva 2 or 3 times during those first sips of fluids).

When I wake in the morning, my 'tummy' feels fine and settled and I can manage to eat my bowl of porridge beautifully. But as the day goes on and I eat more food, the gurgling and bubbling increases. I am getting used to it. Sometimes it lasts for 20 minutes after eating, sometimes up to an hour. This is rather annoying for someone who loves their food! Its a strange feeling to not have an appetite too, but this does not bother me. Occassionally I have felt something and wondered 'was that my tummy rumbling?', knowing full well that it wasn't. I finally got my period after an absence of about 7 weeks. That was a little concerning but not shocking; my body has just been through some trauma. I know that this will be making me feel a little more tired than usual this week. And perhaps my B12 stores are lessoning now too. (It also doesn't help that I stay up too late at night!).

My weight seems to have stabilised for the moment. I have lost about 8 kilos. I thought that I may have lost more by now. (I do have a little excess and can certainly do with losing about another 6 kilos). And I still haven't sorted out my 'fluid intake'. When I did the shopping the other day, I bought about 6 different types of drinks, ranging from sustagen and gatorade (powders), to ribena, cordial and soft drinks. I feel that I need to drink more and often feel thirsty. Oh, and I bought some ice blocks which I just LOVE, particularly the Frosty Fruits. I have gone off ice cream for the moment, one of my favourite past times, and I still haven't had a coffee. It just smells foul! This is difficult as I so REALLY loved my morning coffee. I can manage to drink about a third of a cup of sweet tea and will put some chamomile tea on the shopping list for next week (willing to give anything a go!).

Well today I feel much better than I did yesterday, and will endeavour to get to bed earlier from here on in!

All is Well !

Well I cannot believe how remarkably well I am! My life is almost back to normal..... It will be 4 weeks tomorrow since I had my stomach removed. A lot has happened since then, and every new day has certainly been better than the last. I met with my surgeons last week, they were just delighted with my recovery so far. I had the J-tube removed (yay!). I won't be needing any tube feeding anytime soon; I am eating so very well! My pathology results were clear; although I can't remember all of the details so will request a copy of this soon.

I have been to a couple of work meetings, although this only involved sitting down for most of the day, I managed just fine. I have been out for dinner and did a little bit of dancing! I've helped out at a BBQ Fundraiser, spent a full day out at Willowbank Raceway, been to a fair, and done grocery shopping. I started driving again about a week and a half ago, with some little trips to start with. I do know my limits and find myself taking that 30 minute nap in the afternoon if I feel like it. But that is not everyday.

Sometimes I wonder if my 'bubble is going to burst' and I will crash all of a sudden one day soon...I have just exceeded my 'recovery expectations' so much! It took mum such a long long time to get to where I am at the moment (14-15 months) and she suffered terribly with dumping syndrome, not being able to eat a large variety of foods and dramatic weight loss. To date I have lost 8 kilos, 4 of those whilst in hospital. I am eating whatever I like; just smaller portions. I find that breads, pastas and rice fill me up quicker than they used, or maybe its just that they are taking longer to break down than before. Not sure. I haven't had any alcohol, nor do I have the desire, and I haven't gone back to coffee. (I missed it for the first few weeks). But I do enjoy a half a cup of tea every now and then.

I find it difficult to drink water and consequently had a mild urinary tract infection strike me at the end of last week. I can drink my glass or two of sustagen each day with no worries, but water just doesn't go down well. Will keep practising. Ice cream goes down well!

My kids have been great....Cooper is such a compassionate, caring soul. He kisses me goodnight and tells me 'I hope you feel better really soon mum'. I caught him singing a song to himself the other day, it was very tuneful...some of the lyrics were, 'and my mummy had her stomach removed...and grandma and grandpa came to look after us when mummy was in hospital....and grandma did mummy's jobs...'. Its very cute (for a 4yr old) and makes me laugh and feel very loved. Zara is more into the technical side of things, throwing out comments like 'did they take your belly out mum?' and 'but I can still see it'. A very inquisitive soul, who has also tried to take advantage of mummy and got out of going to day care because of comments like 'but I neeeeeeeed you mummy' (tears included). I am so very glad that I have been so open and honest with my children, as young as they are.... And so my life now goes on, with swimming lessons for the kids tomorrow morning, a business meeting for me tomorrow night and an all day sports day at Cooper's kindy on Wednesday! And tomorrow I shall feel better than I did today........