'Has it only been 12 weeks?'

It has been almost 3 weeks since I re-visited the hospital and spoke to a surgeon regarding the eating dramas I have been experiencing. The appointment went well and the outcome was pretty much to take it easy, slow down and give myself some time. (It had only been 10 weeks since my op). We discussed the possibility of there being a stricture at the join site and the surgeon agreed that it could be likely however they are reluctant to do anything about it so early post surgery. I have another appointment to see Dr Nathanson (the head surgeon) on the 20th October to see if there have been any changes or developments.

Basically what has been happening is that at least once a day, during either lunch or dinner (mainly), the food that I am eating will get 'stuck' or won't 'go down'. I begin my meal and shortly after eating just 2 or 3 mouthfuls, I feel an incredible urge to bring up that little amount of food. Sometimes just those couple of mouthfuls are expelled, sometimes it is clear, frothy, sticky saliva. Sometimes I am reduced to an incredible vomiting episode involving tears streaming from my eyes and mucous dribbling from my nose. Most times I am able to resume, and finish my meal, sometimes I cannot.

I have really been paying more attention to my eating since my appointment recently and I am trying to really make sure that I am snacking all the time. This helps. I also just discovered that if I snack on something like some crackers whilst preparing, and just before dinner, I seem to be able to eat my entire meal without any dramas. Almost like having an entree I guess.

Last weekend was my future sister-in-laws' Hens Weekend Away. We started with lunch where I ordered a Caesar Salad with Avocado and Salmon. I ate a couple of mouthfuls and then it all came back up. (In the bathroom of course). I tried again to eat a couple more tiny mouthfuls and again, it came back up. Determined to 'eat something', I tried again, and again, it all came back up. Not good.

Looking back now, I realise that it had been a good 4 hours since I had eaten anything prior to attempting the salad, and perhaps I will just be one of those people that will need to snack ALL THE TIME.

Later that afternoon I snacked for hours on crackers, dips and cheeses and then ate a small meal of Gnocchi (drenched in pesto and oil) with not a single drama. I also enjoyed a couple of sips of wine, a Smirnoff Ice (vodka and lemon drink) and a small 'fruit tingle' cocktail over about a 5 hour period. I was very impressed with this effort as it had been the first time since my surgery that I had drank any alcohol. We danced the night away until 4am! 

I visited my GP on Friday to have a blood test to check my B12 and iron levels and will have those results back Monday. I am finding that I am 'crashing' about every 3rd day or so, needing a sleep in the afternoon. (It doesn't help that I am still not getting to bed very early of an evening either). I may have to start B12 injections soon, something I would much rather avoid. I have been taking a sublingual B12 (1mg) tablet each day but it is apparantley debatable as to how much B12 I would actually be absorbing via this method. (It just dissolves under your tongue). I guess I will find out Monday!

My weight seems to have stabilised for now. I am 64 kilos (141 pounds) which is the weight I would sit at in the past when not dieting. I am scared of losing more weight now. Really scared. In my mind, I have this figure of 60 kilos as being my 'goal' and I guess I am now focussing on eating more frequently so that the weight stays on. Mum is taller than I and weighs a tiny 50 kilos (110 pounds), 3 years post gastrectomy. She keeps telling me that I will lose more weight, that it is still early days yet.... and that is scaring me. Time to step it up Tammy, and be more positive than I have been before!